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Welcome!

Who are you?

We are the Paraplu System, a suspected system from the Netherlands who is bodily 22 years old. We collectively identify as non-binary (though gender is very different for each alter) and use all pronouns, with a preference for the plural they/them!

We don't have that many collective interests, which... is annoying. Every time we go "oh hey, we all like X!" and then someone shows up saying "I HATE X". But anyways, the majority of us likes: UNDERTALE (not that big on deltarune yet), rain/rainy days, psychology, Pokémon VOCALOID songs and writing!

Other system info?

We keep our altercount private, as we are completely unsure how many of us we have 'discovered'/'written down' at this moment. Same goes for frequent fronters; they change so regularly that we decide not to share them. We do not have a 'core', we do not have a 'host' and all alters who want to participate on this site, can freely do so while the others don't have to. You won't meet/read about everyone of us, and that's ok! There's such a pressure online of knowing everything about your own (and others') systems, but it's so normal not to. We only share what we want to share.

How did you find out you're a system?

We have known about DID from since when we were ~12 y/o. We followed DissociaDID and the disorder fascinated us to no end (as in "how horrible people have to live with this, but how interesting that the brain can even DO that"). But we were in HEAVY denial about our problems and trauma, dissociated to the point we weren't even aware, so it didn't even occur to us we could have this disorder.

But the more we uncovered, the more we learned in therapy, the more we started to realize something was off. We had just turned 21 when we started genuinely suspected we had a dissociative disorder, specifically DID or OSDD. We tried to return to therapy to confirm or deny this, but we were honestly pretty mistreated there. They told us we 'had enough diagnosis' (we have one, autism, and had already beaten depression) and that we'd figure it out on our own. Which... wow, how can you even say that lmao.

But anyways, we are now on a waiting list for a different professional (which will likely be ANOTHER year, after having waited one already), with someone who suspected we had a dissociative disorder after having spoken to us for an HOUR, ON THE PHONE, so... yeah, there's that. Since then, we've been figuring everything out ourselves, which has been... horrible, quite frankly, but we have no choice. I hope we get help soon.

How do you experience being a system?

For us, being a system is not a thing we wish upon anyone. I got so dissociated trying to write this, I'm just going to leave it for now. Maybe I'll get back to it.